Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Please know that you’re not alone.
February 10th, 2018 was the first one.
Then another in July…
5 more the following year…
and 2 more in 2020.
I’m a 9 time ectopic pregnancy survivor.
Update: It’s 10 now
But I’m also a wife, entrepreneur and mom. So I still had to show up for my family, my business and myself.
Some days showing up was me just getting out of the bed and being present. Other days it was listening to worship songs like Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott and pushing myself through the pain, when all I wanted to do was quit.
From sports games to watching my children experience the 911 Memorial for the first time, participating in the March For Our Lives movement, watching my daughter’s confidence soar after completing her first marathon with Girls On The Run or just doing life with hubby and our friends during couples date night, I pushed through.
It was messages like Keep on praying by Michael Todd that gave me the strength to get through.
That strength came when I was able to proudly watch as my oldest son and daughter got baptized on Mother’s Day weekend, while I actively miscarried yet again.
Each miscarriage has taught me something different, but the biggest lesson and blessing of all, was the message that there’s purpose in pain IF you keep pushing through. You can still birth something beautiful in the midst of your pain.
Pushing through looks different for everyone. So don’t let ANYONE rush your process.
Yes you can grieve.
Yes triggers will happen.
Yes you’ll have good days and off days.
Yes depression may happen.
Yes you are allowed to feel the way you feel. You just can’t allow yourself to stay stuck in that pain.
That message has helped me help myself and countless others. I pray that it helps you too.
Keep letting God lead the way and you’ll get through. I’m a living testimony, witness and survivor of the infinite possibilities that are only available with Him. You’ve got this. Keep pushing.
XOXO